TWW

It feels like you never know how desperately you want a baby/a family until you are staring the 'TWW' in the face. Systematically counting down each 'DPO' and obsessively ticking off the symptom checklist.

Today I am 8dpo on my first month 'TTC'. My wife has been trying for the past 8 months and this month we decided to both give it a try. We are using a known donor and doing home insemination and due to some fuck up in the earths finely tuned balance, we were both ovulating around the same couple of days (fucked up because it will also mean we are pre menstrual at the same time- which in turn breeds all sorts of hormonal crazy in our relationship, on the occassion that our cycles choose to merge together...only to diverge quite soon after when it realises that rather than a biological wonder, it is a biological hazard.

So far this delightful TWW I am experiencing

Nausea
Extreme hunger
frequent urination
indigestion
cramps
Gas
Food aversions
Night time waking
and a google obsession (not a new thing however)

and guess what.....I am quite probably going to start bleeding over the next few days and it will be back to square one.

The part of me that ebays cute baby clothes remains vaguely optimistic every month and then becomes rapidly depressed once 'AF' shows up...for it to die away and become optimistic once more when them two dark lines come up on the 'OPK'

But for now I am going to sit here and eat my victoria sponge (I AM CRAVING IT), because hey ho. I am either pregnant or pre-menstrual so it is justified.

H x