WOW. It has been a whole year since I last updated this blog. We started our first IVF cycle as planned last year but this didn't go well. My wife under responded and our cycle got cancelled. We managed to convert it over to IUI as she did have 2 follicles that had grown. The result of this was a BFN. It was really difficult as IVF is suppose to be some miracle intervention and everybody seems to have such success with it. After this failure, we ended up taking a break for several reasons.
She had been suffering from stomach pain for a few months and the drs had put this down to indigestion and had put her on an antacid. During the beginning half of last year, the attacks started to get more frequent and she was referred for scans etc. and it turns out she had gall stones and subsequently her liver function was all over the place. She was put on a waiting list to have her gall bladder out. We couldn't have carried on TTC with all this happening so we had to wait. In the end this was done in July. She then had to recover from this. Her liver function went back to normal and the pain attacks stopped. Apparently her gall bladder was chronically messed up and was definitely something that had to be removed. She also ended up with a post surgery infection too due to the infected gall bladder. We spent a glamorous evening down at the walk in center. This cleared up though with antibiotics.
We also bought our very first home last year and moved in, in August. It is a 3 bed with lots of room to grow our family. While renting would not have been the end of the world, it is so lovely owning our own home. As we had prioritized IVF, it was something we thought was years off. Thankfully our parents clubbed together and gave us the remaining money we needed towards a deposit, so we used the rest of our savings on our house deposit. We are glad we did though. As this house feels special and I have an overwhelming sense of being 'home' whenever i walk through the front door.
We decided that following the failure of IVF #1 and the fact we were unable to continue with egg sharing, which made their prices more reasonable, we decided to move clinics as we had not been happy with the care we received and also the extra costs that they added on to cycles, that were not only unnecessary but something that our other local clinic did not even do. Our first clinic insisted on me having an infection screen done to check for HIV, HEP B etc under the guise of 'welfare of the child' and tried charging £150 for the privilege. Luckily I donate blood and they were willing to accept a letter from then saying that I carried no blood borne viruses. They also got really arsey when I would not give consent for my physical description to go on their sperm donor match form. I pointed out that as a female, I did not want an exact match to my features and would just like my hair and eye colour noted. I also pointed out that I was a heath care professional who was paying thousands to have a child so the whole welfare of the child thing is complete bollocks, as I could have had sex with any old bloke and got pregnant. They also charged £750 for their sperm and if we were to import it from another clinic they wanted to charge us £500 just for importing it (not including cost of the sperm and shipping that we would have had to have paid!) They also used to shout confidential information out at the reception desk which was directly next to the waiting room, so the entire of the city new that they had cancelled our cycle and pretty much the whole tale. The final nail in the coffin was when our second scan showed she was still under responding and the nurse said "Are you actually injecting the medication?" as if we were just squirting it out of the window (also bearing in mind I administer injections as part of my job!). It was the most patronizing stupid comment ever.
When we moved to our new clinic, I asked when I needed my bloods taken, and they were like erm what are you talking about? Turns out they don't do them and the sperm matching was literally just her handing us a list and being like "Pick one?" and when we said that we were thinking of shipping sperm from America and inquired about the additional costs, she was like erm what additional costs? You just pay for the sperm and shipping. I even asked her again confused and said "Yes, but how much do you charge us for not using your sperm bank?" She looked at me really weird and just repeated "Nothing" haha. We seemed so perplexed by the difference in both their attitude and practice. It was a pleasant surprise though.
Another issue that cropped up was that when we referred ourselves to our local NHS attached clinic, we also transferred my wife's endocrine care from London due to her raised prolactin. She met with the new consultant in November who got a copy of her notes from London and immediately thought she saw a tumour on her pituitary MRI that had been missed. She ordered a repeat MRI and sure enough, she does have a benign tumour! She restarted her medication for this in January and her Prolactin levels are now much lower again. We were suppose to start IVF#2 a month ago, but her CD2 bloods noted her elevated Prolactin and the fertility consultant would not let us continue with the cycle until her levels were reduced. We found our last week that her levels have gone from 1100 down to 500. So he's given us the thumbs up to start.
Today is CD 1... Scan and LH/FSH bloods in the morning and we start stabbing on Friday morning. We have had all the bloods in our fridge for a month now, after the false start of last month. We are just keen to get going now
Sorry this post has been very word heavy. Having a year off TTC has been difficult but we are in a much better postion now than we were a year ago. My wife is in much better health (we didn't know she wasnt last year though) and we have our lovely home and a clinic that I have faith in.
Hopefully in November, we will be introducing our little pumpkin :)
Showing posts with label Lesbian parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lesbian parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, 17 February 2016
Monday, 3 November 2014
Guns are blazing!
Exciting news! We have been matched with a egg recipient and donor sperm and start treatment in probably January if everything goes to plan. So exciting :) Happened way sooner than we anticipated which is obviously awesome! We can't wait to get going but it is also terrifying!
Eeeeeee x
Eeeeeee x
Thursday, 14 August 2014
Counselling
Yesterday we had our fertility counselling session which wasn't what we expected but was still nice. We expected more of a grilling, but actually it was more like a discussion on the ins and outs of sperm and egg donation from a legal point of view. We expected to be asked our feelings on a child knocking on our door in 18 years time, but this never came up. We didn't come away knowing anything more than what we already knew, though it was good to sit on a comfy sofa next to my wife and daydream about being parents and how good it will feel both being mums and equal legal parents someday to our children. I feel lucky to live in a country where we are afforded such a great thing. I feel happy too knowing that we will be giving half our eggs to another woman who will also become a mother, or at least expand her brood.
Following our counselling session we had our appointment to have bloods done to check for various infections and genetic things. At this appointment we also filled out the paperwork for the HFEA to become an official egg donor. My wife's physical stats were taken down and her interest and hobbies. We also filled a form out about our sperm donor requirements. The only sticking point for me, was that they wanted my height, weight and build for the sperm matching which I refused to give. Are they going to find a donor with breasts and a vagina? I can understand how this is relevent for a heterosexual couple where the man would like to find a donor with his frame etc but realistically this isn't applicable to me and I don't want my stats to assist with being matched with a man!
I told her that I would give this information to the DR when we saw him if it really was needed. She said it would be as it is important for 'welfare of the child'. I know I have several extra pounds and my BMI is more 35 than 25, but I am by no means in any category that would see me an unfit parent. I don't drink or smoke and I lead a healthy lifestyle, more so than many parents out there. Especially the ones on crack.
I have struggled with my weight and self image since I was a child and I am not paying a clinic £1000's of pounds to fuck me off and antagonise me. She also threw in that as I wanted to also do ivf in the future that her noting my weight down had some sort of relevance, like no, because when my time comes, my BMI will be 29, I will be getting matched with a female and not a man and it will be relevant.
I really like our clinic and everybody is so lovely, but I went to the appointment after a manic long stressful night shift and we were waiting for an hour between appointments due to a delay so it was lunchtime by the time we left and I was exhausted and a surprise weigh in just wasn't something that was going to happen, nor was my build (medium) getting noted on a sperm match form!
Before the appointment we went for breakfast at Carluccios, which was lovely and then we discovered a really great coffee shop with chesterman sofas and nice tasting coffee, somewhere that is going to become a regular I am sure. I love going to the clinic and a coffee date with my wife, though I hope we never have to face the day where the gods are not in our favour as we know that sometime we may have to face the downs that come with IVF sometimes.
I so want this to work first time
Following our counselling session we had our appointment to have bloods done to check for various infections and genetic things. At this appointment we also filled out the paperwork for the HFEA to become an official egg donor. My wife's physical stats were taken down and her interest and hobbies. We also filled a form out about our sperm donor requirements. The only sticking point for me, was that they wanted my height, weight and build for the sperm matching which I refused to give. Are they going to find a donor with breasts and a vagina? I can understand how this is relevent for a heterosexual couple where the man would like to find a donor with his frame etc but realistically this isn't applicable to me and I don't want my stats to assist with being matched with a man!
I told her that I would give this information to the DR when we saw him if it really was needed. She said it would be as it is important for 'welfare of the child'. I know I have several extra pounds and my BMI is more 35 than 25, but I am by no means in any category that would see me an unfit parent. I don't drink or smoke and I lead a healthy lifestyle, more so than many parents out there. Especially the ones on crack.
I have struggled with my weight and self image since I was a child and I am not paying a clinic £1000's of pounds to fuck me off and antagonise me. She also threw in that as I wanted to also do ivf in the future that her noting my weight down had some sort of relevance, like no, because when my time comes, my BMI will be 29, I will be getting matched with a female and not a man and it will be relevant.
I really like our clinic and everybody is so lovely, but I went to the appointment after a manic long stressful night shift and we were waiting for an hour between appointments due to a delay so it was lunchtime by the time we left and I was exhausted and a surprise weigh in just wasn't something that was going to happen, nor was my build (medium) getting noted on a sperm match form!
Before the appointment we went for breakfast at Carluccios, which was lovely and then we discovered a really great coffee shop with chesterman sofas and nice tasting coffee, somewhere that is going to become a regular I am sure. I love going to the clinic and a coffee date with my wife, though I hope we never have to face the day where the gods are not in our favour as we know that sometime we may have to face the downs that come with IVF sometimes.
I so want this to work first time
Tuesday, 29 July 2014
Sperm hunt
I am finding this wait now between appointments quite challenging. Thankfully life is busy at the moment so time is flying by and tomorrow it will be 2 weeks til our counselling session and 'big bloods.'
We have also been looking into our options more when it comes to sperm. Initially we just presumed we would use the clinics own bank, as it is cheaper initially and easier, but then we keep getting told of the shortage and how you could be waiting several months for a match and then you get very little information about the donor, just basic profile really. We have therefore decided that we are going to go down the route of importing sperm from Denmark, which initially costs £600 more but after 3 cycles we will recoup it back by saving £200 a cycle as sperm and shipping combined is cheaper than one vial in uk. The initial extra cost is £800 for a pregnancy slot, as in the UK only 10 families can be created from one donor and we have to pay for this law! I think it is a good thing but also a pain that we have to pay for a law we didn't create! It also is a joke because they could have 100 further children in Denmark anyway.
We briefly considered importing from America as they do not charge a pregnancy slot and meet this cost themselves and have a large selection of donors including adult pictures, but they do not buy back unused sperm and shipping is more costly and our clinic do not have a relationship with them like they do with the Danish one so they will charge us extra to import and store.
It is a minefield.
We will still have more choice in Denmark sperm bank than UK and can see a more in depth profile and baby photos. We want to have 2 or 3 children so obviously sperm is a long term investment in the mission to complete our family and we are thinking not only about baby no 1. but hopefully their brother and sisters to come :)
Seeing a baby photo will help ease my anxiety about inadvertently choosing a donor with ridiculously strong features that the child inherits and will ease that small place in my mind that will be trying to suss out if he or she resembles the donor. While I do not care ultimately who or what our children look like, I would love for them to look like my wife, because she is beautiful and I love her and I dislike the fact it will never be both our DNA in our bundles of Joy and so I at least want to see what the donor looks like so I know at least this much.
Roll on two weeks, so we can then sit around and do more waiting
We have also been looking into our options more when it comes to sperm. Initially we just presumed we would use the clinics own bank, as it is cheaper initially and easier, but then we keep getting told of the shortage and how you could be waiting several months for a match and then you get very little information about the donor, just basic profile really. We have therefore decided that we are going to go down the route of importing sperm from Denmark, which initially costs £600 more but after 3 cycles we will recoup it back by saving £200 a cycle as sperm and shipping combined is cheaper than one vial in uk. The initial extra cost is £800 for a pregnancy slot, as in the UK only 10 families can be created from one donor and we have to pay for this law! I think it is a good thing but also a pain that we have to pay for a law we didn't create! It also is a joke because they could have 100 further children in Denmark anyway.
We briefly considered importing from America as they do not charge a pregnancy slot and meet this cost themselves and have a large selection of donors including adult pictures, but they do not buy back unused sperm and shipping is more costly and our clinic do not have a relationship with them like they do with the Danish one so they will charge us extra to import and store.
It is a minefield.
We will still have more choice in Denmark sperm bank than UK and can see a more in depth profile and baby photos. We want to have 2 or 3 children so obviously sperm is a long term investment in the mission to complete our family and we are thinking not only about baby no 1. but hopefully their brother and sisters to come :)
Seeing a baby photo will help ease my anxiety about inadvertently choosing a donor with ridiculously strong features that the child inherits and will ease that small place in my mind that will be trying to suss out if he or she resembles the donor. While I do not care ultimately who or what our children look like, I would love for them to look like my wife, because she is beautiful and I love her and I dislike the fact it will never be both our DNA in our bundles of Joy and so I at least want to see what the donor looks like so I know at least this much.
Roll on two weeks, so we can then sit around and do more waiting
Friday, 27 June 2014
Eager Beaver
Yesterday we went into the clinic for a scan to check my wife's antra-follicle count which helps determine your ovarian reserve. We also had bloods taken to test AMH level. T was really scared prior to the scan and had convinced herself something would be wrong etc. Thankfully it all went well and her womb lining was thin, she had 24 follicles (16-30 is excellent) and the only downer was a 3cm fibroid that was tucked up in her upper uterine muscle which apparently will pose no problem due to it hiding out of the way. It was really cool getting to see T's uterus and ovaries and I just kept thinking that this is the room where our future child could be collected and where they could be put back in as cute bundles of cells and that one day when I look at a screen of my wife's uterus, I could be staring at our baby's heartbeat.
Afterwards we went for a walk in the park and for breakfast before T headed to work. It was really lovely and filled with positivity.
We now have to wait a week to get the blood results but we have everything crossed. Following that the next step would be big bloods to check for any genetic carrier problems and any infections.
Fingers crossed
My sister has penned the phrase 'Eager Beaver' to describe the journey.
Afterwards we went for a walk in the park and for breakfast before T headed to work. It was really lovely and filled with positivity.
We now have to wait a week to get the blood results but we have everything crossed. Following that the next step would be big bloods to check for any genetic carrier problems and any infections.
Fingers crossed
My sister has penned the phrase 'Eager Beaver' to describe the journey.
Thursday, 5 June 2014
Our first IVF consultation
This afternoon has been pretty lovely.
We had our first consultation today at the fertility clinic and we got a really nice vibe about the place. It is really friendly and they provide nice tea and coffee. Though we were both too nervous to drink anything. Next time we will for sure :) The nurse explained the procedure and we chatted about our options etc. My wife has to go back in 3 weeks or so after her next period to have bloods and a scan to make sure there are no problems. Hopefully that will be ok. If everything goes textbook we will hopefully be ready to commence by Nov/Dec depending on how long we wait for sperm etc. I feel excited. When she talked us through the process, it all started to feel very real. Sitting next to my beautiful wife as we watch our embryo/s getting put inside her uterus is going to be an amazing moment and I just keep focusing on this when everything gets overwhelming. I know after that you have the two week wait and potential BFN and even with a BFP the scope for a category of misfortunes, but right now all i want is that tiny cute little ball of cells and after that a baby would be very much appreciated.
Currently I am dreaming about a blastocyst rather than a baby. Our future blastocyst.
After our appointment we went for coffee and a walk along the river with our dog and held hands and talked and dreamed about everything we have to come. We do this a lot but today it just held more hope than usual
Ivf we know can be a tough old ride, but for now we are positive and energised and I honestly cannot wait to jab my best friend and future mother our children with drugs.
Hurry up menstruation. Never been more keen to get hormonal bitch wife x
We had our first consultation today at the fertility clinic and we got a really nice vibe about the place. It is really friendly and they provide nice tea and coffee. Though we were both too nervous to drink anything. Next time we will for sure :) The nurse explained the procedure and we chatted about our options etc. My wife has to go back in 3 weeks or so after her next period to have bloods and a scan to make sure there are no problems. Hopefully that will be ok. If everything goes textbook we will hopefully be ready to commence by Nov/Dec depending on how long we wait for sperm etc. I feel excited. When she talked us through the process, it all started to feel very real. Sitting next to my beautiful wife as we watch our embryo/s getting put inside her uterus is going to be an amazing moment and I just keep focusing on this when everything gets overwhelming. I know after that you have the two week wait and potential BFN and even with a BFP the scope for a category of misfortunes, but right now all i want is that tiny cute little ball of cells and after that a baby would be very much appreciated.
Currently I am dreaming about a blastocyst rather than a baby. Our future blastocyst.
After our appointment we went for coffee and a walk along the river with our dog and held hands and talked and dreamed about everything we have to come. We do this a lot but today it just held more hope than usual
Ivf we know can be a tough old ride, but for now we are positive and energised and I honestly cannot wait to jab my best friend and future mother our children with drugs.
Hurry up menstruation. Never been more keen to get hormonal bitch wife x
Friday, 23 May 2014
We have applied for IVF!
Today we posted our application for IVF. Now we just wait to see if we can proceed to next stage= Bloods and scans. It all rests on if the consultant is happy with my wife's medical and genetic history (Not that there is anything serious). We briefly considered NHS route but are not keen on waiting times and having to have 6 failed IUI's before IVF and just want to jump to chase and have 40% success rate and not 12%.
On Tuesday we also went down to London for her blood test to check her hormone levels which are now down to almost normal levels after almost a year on meds! Great news. To top it all off, she lost 6.5 lbs this week. Superstar wife!!!
Enough of the known donor and home insemination business. It just felt wrong towards the end and it was just depressing. We are well aware that IVF can be a tough road but at least it has better statistics and it is all clean and clinical and the sperm comes in a vial and not a sterile wanking pot
X
On Tuesday we also went down to London for her blood test to check her hormone levels which are now down to almost normal levels after almost a year on meds! Great news. To top it all off, she lost 6.5 lbs this week. Superstar wife!!!
Enough of the known donor and home insemination business. It just felt wrong towards the end and it was just depressing. We are well aware that IVF can be a tough road but at least it has better statistics and it is all clean and clinical and the sperm comes in a vial and not a sterile wanking pot
X
Monday, 7 April 2014
Goodbye 10ml syringes
So once again our minds have changed. After much discussion we have decided to stop doing home inseminations. This cycle my eggs decided to randomly cling on to my ovaries and pop out a week late so the sperm last week was pretty much futile and then our donor cancelled on us for any further donations this month due to 'being ill'. We also decided that we are through with being at the mercy of donors and hoping they do not turn out to be complete and utter weirdos. Our current donor had a name on his profile which we took to be his (like you would) and the other day in a text, signed off with a completely different name, which although they have the right to privacy, just really made me think about what else he can lie about and just made us both feel really uneasy.
We have therefore decided to apply for NHS funding for iui/ivf in a clinic and go down that route instead. It is such a difficult and emotionally fraught journey and we are so ready to move on to the next stage because it doesn't feel like we are getting very far at all. My wife needs to lose 35 pounds first to meet the criteria and then we will start that ball rolling. It is all taking even longer than we ever imagined it would but fuck it right. We will get there and it will be so worth it.
We have therefore decided to apply for NHS funding for iui/ivf in a clinic and go down that route instead. It is such a difficult and emotionally fraught journey and we are so ready to move on to the next stage because it doesn't feel like we are getting very far at all. My wife needs to lose 35 pounds first to meet the criteria and then we will start that ball rolling. It is all taking even longer than we ever imagined it would but fuck it right. We will get there and it will be so worth it.
Friday, 28 March 2014
Insemination
Everytime I decide to do a blog post something dramatic has changed. Well the change this time is that we are now living up North rather than in London. It means we have a bigger house and are nearer to my family which is a positive step. Even if we do miss our life in London. We have also bought a extra cute puppy.
The only thing that hasn't changed is that we are still not pregnant. We found a new donor up this end and are currently back to trying after a bit of a break to move. We have decided that ideally T will get pregnant first due to being 3 years older than me but that due to the fact that we have been trying for a while now, I will also try where possible just to help increase our chances. We just want a baby in our life now and we don't care who has it.
When we first started seriously thinking about trying and looking for a donor back in October 2012 we had this idealistic picture that T will try to try get pregnant in Jan 2013 after our civil partnership and it will wonderously happen fairily easily and that we will have candles lit and it will be romantic and beautiful. Then once our bundle of joy comes along once it was around 1, I would start trying and the same would happen again. In actual fact what has happened is that T had 8 inseminations to no avail and then found out that she has raised Prolactin and low progesterone and after a couple more tests in now on medication to help and in a major lack of patience moment, I also started trYing and have so far done 2 attempts.
This is how we found it in reality
1) There were no candles or romance, just some awkward small talk with our donor followed by what do you do while he is wanking off in the next room. Cue loud music.
2) Donor leaves and this is followed by a major sense of responsibility to not kill off the little swimmers inprisoned in the sterile pot which has to be some how sucked up into the syringe.
3) Once the swimmers were successfully sucked up, you then had to try and get rid of the weird gross semen bubbles that appeared out of nowhere without a)losing the lot of them b)not getting rid of them and shoving alot of air up into your bits...tho this seemed a bit extreme and probably not enough air to do much damage but the worry was there. 3)feeling time constraints as every minute sperm are losing the battle in there.
4) Nowhere does it mention sperm bubbles
5)once you successfully have the sperm contained you then have to keep them warm...or do you...some stuff says that you should keep them sat there to allow to liquify more for 10-15 mins whereas some literature says that you should keep them at body temperature to keep them alive...then some stuff says that if you keep them too warm then they will speed up too quickly and die. What the fuck do you do? = ACT QUICKLY (while trying not to panic or freak out at how disgusting semen is)
6)You get your partner into position and then have to locate the cervix because you don't want to miss or let too much come out... you locate the cervix but then have to try work with the syringe one handed
7) The syringe is in!!! How quick do you press the plunger down? In your head you think well a guy probably cums quite quickly and with force so quickly would make sense but then the other part of your brain is thinking SHIT what if they bounce straight back out? Should I leave the syringe in? If I leave the syringe in will this then block the cerival opening and prevent the sperm from getting in? I heard a tale of a woman plunging prematurely and missed the vagina altogether in her blind panic!
8) You fuck it and just inject the bastards in as slow as humanely possible and leave the syringe...but then your partner starts laughing and her pelvic floor pushes out not only the syringe but some spermy goodness comes running out.
9)You have to go find tissue or a sanitary towel or something to stem the flow and then panic about whether any actually made it anywhere near the cervix and curse at your woman for not having kept it in place
10) you stockpile all the cushions and pillows in the house under her arse with the not so good one on top in case any semen seep through and you have to throw it away and never speak of that cushion again
11) You try and produce an orgasm while trying to not get sperm on your fingers or contract too much that further troops are lost to the pelvic floor and your brain is nowhere near that sexy place but you have to keep trying because an orgasm helps suck up the little bastards into your uterus where they need to be and trust me after the above, they need all the help they can get.
12) you think about using a soft cup to keep it all in there but then again you worry about putting it in wrong and covering the cervix and subsequently push all the swimmers away so they are held back by a latex wall and any who are knocking around the opening get distracted by the plastic sheath that now encloses them and thats the last thing you want. Distracted sperm!
So thats it. That is the insemination all whistles and bells...and candles and romance.
The only thing that hasn't changed is that we are still not pregnant. We found a new donor up this end and are currently back to trying after a bit of a break to move. We have decided that ideally T will get pregnant first due to being 3 years older than me but that due to the fact that we have been trying for a while now, I will also try where possible just to help increase our chances. We just want a baby in our life now and we don't care who has it.
When we first started seriously thinking about trying and looking for a donor back in October 2012 we had this idealistic picture that T will try to try get pregnant in Jan 2013 after our civil partnership and it will wonderously happen fairily easily and that we will have candles lit and it will be romantic and beautiful. Then once our bundle of joy comes along once it was around 1, I would start trying and the same would happen again. In actual fact what has happened is that T had 8 inseminations to no avail and then found out that she has raised Prolactin and low progesterone and after a couple more tests in now on medication to help and in a major lack of patience moment, I also started trYing and have so far done 2 attempts.
This is how we found it in reality
1) There were no candles or romance, just some awkward small talk with our donor followed by what do you do while he is wanking off in the next room. Cue loud music.
2) Donor leaves and this is followed by a major sense of responsibility to not kill off the little swimmers inprisoned in the sterile pot which has to be some how sucked up into the syringe.
3) Once the swimmers were successfully sucked up, you then had to try and get rid of the weird gross semen bubbles that appeared out of nowhere without a)losing the lot of them b)not getting rid of them and shoving alot of air up into your bits...tho this seemed a bit extreme and probably not enough air to do much damage but the worry was there. 3)feeling time constraints as every minute sperm are losing the battle in there.
4) Nowhere does it mention sperm bubbles
5)once you successfully have the sperm contained you then have to keep them warm...or do you...some stuff says that you should keep them sat there to allow to liquify more for 10-15 mins whereas some literature says that you should keep them at body temperature to keep them alive...then some stuff says that if you keep them too warm then they will speed up too quickly and die. What the fuck do you do? = ACT QUICKLY (while trying not to panic or freak out at how disgusting semen is)
6)You get your partner into position and then have to locate the cervix because you don't want to miss or let too much come out... you locate the cervix but then have to try work with the syringe one handed
7) The syringe is in!!! How quick do you press the plunger down? In your head you think well a guy probably cums quite quickly and with force so quickly would make sense but then the other part of your brain is thinking SHIT what if they bounce straight back out? Should I leave the syringe in? If I leave the syringe in will this then block the cerival opening and prevent the sperm from getting in? I heard a tale of a woman plunging prematurely and missed the vagina altogether in her blind panic!
8) You fuck it and just inject the bastards in as slow as humanely possible and leave the syringe...but then your partner starts laughing and her pelvic floor pushes out not only the syringe but some spermy goodness comes running out.
9)You have to go find tissue or a sanitary towel or something to stem the flow and then panic about whether any actually made it anywhere near the cervix and curse at your woman for not having kept it in place
10) you stockpile all the cushions and pillows in the house under her arse with the not so good one on top in case any semen seep through and you have to throw it away and never speak of that cushion again
11) You try and produce an orgasm while trying to not get sperm on your fingers or contract too much that further troops are lost to the pelvic floor and your brain is nowhere near that sexy place but you have to keep trying because an orgasm helps suck up the little bastards into your uterus where they need to be and trust me after the above, they need all the help they can get.
12) you think about using a soft cup to keep it all in there but then again you worry about putting it in wrong and covering the cervix and subsequently push all the swimmers away so they are held back by a latex wall and any who are knocking around the opening get distracted by the plastic sheath that now encloses them and thats the last thing you want. Distracted sperm!
So thats it. That is the insemination all whistles and bells...and candles and romance.
Thursday, 22 August 2013
TWW
It feels like you never know how desperately you want a baby/a family until you are staring the 'TWW' in the face. Systematically counting down each 'DPO' and obsessively ticking off the symptom checklist.
Today I am 8dpo on my first month 'TTC'. My wife has been trying for the past 8 months and this month we decided to both give it a try. We are using a known donor and doing home insemination and due to some fuck up in the earths finely tuned balance, we were both ovulating around the same couple of days (fucked up because it will also mean we are pre menstrual at the same time- which in turn breeds all sorts of hormonal crazy in our relationship, on the occassion that our cycles choose to merge together...only to diverge quite soon after when it realises that rather than a biological wonder, it is a biological hazard.
So far this delightful TWW I am experiencing
Nausea
Extreme hunger
frequent urination
indigestion
cramps
Gas
Food aversions
Night time waking
and a google obsession (not a new thing however)
and guess what.....I am quite probably going to start bleeding over the next few days and it will be back to square one.
The part of me that ebays cute baby clothes remains vaguely optimistic every month and then becomes rapidly depressed once 'AF' shows up...for it to die away and become optimistic once more when them two dark lines come up on the 'OPK'
But for now I am going to sit here and eat my victoria sponge (I AM CRAVING IT), because hey ho. I am either pregnant or pre-menstrual so it is justified.
H x
Today I am 8dpo on my first month 'TTC'. My wife has been trying for the past 8 months and this month we decided to both give it a try. We are using a known donor and doing home insemination and due to some fuck up in the earths finely tuned balance, we were both ovulating around the same couple of days (fucked up because it will also mean we are pre menstrual at the same time- which in turn breeds all sorts of hormonal crazy in our relationship, on the occassion that our cycles choose to merge together...only to diverge quite soon after when it realises that rather than a biological wonder, it is a biological hazard.
So far this delightful TWW I am experiencing
Nausea
Extreme hunger
frequent urination
indigestion
cramps
Gas
Food aversions
Night time waking
and a google obsession (not a new thing however)
and guess what.....I am quite probably going to start bleeding over the next few days and it will be back to square one.
The part of me that ebays cute baby clothes remains vaguely optimistic every month and then becomes rapidly depressed once 'AF' shows up...for it to die away and become optimistic once more when them two dark lines come up on the 'OPK'
But for now I am going to sit here and eat my victoria sponge (I AM CRAVING IT), because hey ho. I am either pregnant or pre-menstrual so it is justified.
H x
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Sperm Envy
I WISH I HAD SPERM. Though T told me that if I did they would be amazing sperm. Some consolation to my inept reproductive system. Who decided that two eggs don't make a baby are FOOLS. It is going to cost us thousands to conceive in some lab. This thought bums me out sometimes. But our lab rat is going be beautiful someday.
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