Counselling

Yesterday we had our fertility counselling session which wasn't what we expected but was still nice. We expected more of a grilling, but actually it was more like a discussion on the ins and outs of sperm and egg donation from a legal point of view. We expected to be asked our feelings on a child knocking on our door in 18 years time, but this never came up. We didn't come away knowing anything more than what we already knew, though it was good to sit on a comfy sofa next to my wife and daydream about being parents and how good it will feel both being mums and equal legal parents someday to our children. I feel lucky to live in a country where we are afforded such a great thing. I feel happy too knowing that we will be giving half our eggs to another woman who will also become a mother, or at least expand her brood.

Following our counselling session we had our appointment to have bloods done to check for various infections and genetic things. At this appointment we also filled out the paperwork for the HFEA to become an official egg donor. My wife's physical stats were taken down and her interest and hobbies. We also filled a form out about our sperm donor requirements. The only sticking point for me, was that they wanted my height, weight and build for the sperm matching which I refused to give. Are they going to find a donor with breasts and a vagina? I can understand how this is relevent for a heterosexual couple where the man would like to find a donor with his frame etc but realistically this isn't applicable to me and I don't want my stats to assist with being matched with a man!

I told her that I would give this information to the DR when we saw him if it really was needed. She said it would be as it is important for 'welfare of the child'. I know I have several extra pounds and my BMI is more 35 than 25, but I am by no means in any category that would see me an unfit parent. I don't drink or smoke and I lead a healthy lifestyle, more so than many parents out there. Especially the ones on crack.

I have struggled with my weight and self image since I was a child and I am not paying a clinic £1000's of pounds to fuck me off and antagonise me. She also threw in that as I wanted to also do ivf in the future that her noting my weight down had some sort of relevance, like no, because when my time comes, my BMI will be 29, I will be getting matched with a female and not a man and it will be relevant.

I really like our clinic and everybody is so lovely, but I went to the appointment after a manic long stressful night shift and we were waiting for an hour between appointments due to a delay so it was lunchtime by the time we left and I was exhausted and a surprise weigh in just wasn't something that was going to happen, nor was my build (medium) getting noted on a sperm match form!

Before the appointment we went for breakfast at Carluccios, which was lovely and then we discovered a really great coffee shop with chesterman sofas and nice tasting coffee, somewhere that is going to become a regular I am sure. I love going to the clinic and a coffee date with my wife, though I hope we never have to face the day where the gods are not in our favour as we know that sometime we may have to face the downs that come with IVF sometimes.

I so want this to work first time