Guns are blazing!

Exciting news! We have been matched with a egg recipient and donor sperm and start treatment in probably January if everything goes to plan. So exciting :) Happened way sooner than we anticipated which is obviously awesome! We can't wait to get going but it is also terrifying!

Eeeeeee x

Counselling

Yesterday we had our fertility counselling session which wasn't what we expected but was still nice. We expected more of a grilling, but actually it was more like a discussion on the ins and outs of sperm and egg donation from a legal point of view. We expected to be asked our feelings on a child knocking on our door in 18 years time, but this never came up. We didn't come away knowing anything more than what we already knew, though it was good to sit on a comfy sofa next to my wife and daydream about being parents and how good it will feel both being mums and equal legal parents someday to our children. I feel lucky to live in a country where we are afforded such a great thing. I feel happy too knowing that we will be giving half our eggs to another woman who will also become a mother, or at least expand her brood.

Following our counselling session we had our appointment to have bloods done to check for various infections and genetic things. At this appointment we also filled out the paperwork for the HFEA to become an official egg donor. My wife's physical stats were taken down and her interest and hobbies. We also filled a form out about our sperm donor requirements. The only sticking point for me, was that they wanted my height, weight and build for the sperm matching which I refused to give. Are they going to find a donor with breasts and a vagina? I can understand how this is relevent for a heterosexual couple where the man would like to find a donor with his frame etc but realistically this isn't applicable to me and I don't want my stats to assist with being matched with a man!

I told her that I would give this information to the DR when we saw him if it really was needed. She said it would be as it is important for 'welfare of the child'. I know I have several extra pounds and my BMI is more 35 than 25, but I am by no means in any category that would see me an unfit parent. I don't drink or smoke and I lead a healthy lifestyle, more so than many parents out there. Especially the ones on crack.

I have struggled with my weight and self image since I was a child and I am not paying a clinic £1000's of pounds to fuck me off and antagonise me. She also threw in that as I wanted to also do ivf in the future that her noting my weight down had some sort of relevance, like no, because when my time comes, my BMI will be 29, I will be getting matched with a female and not a man and it will be relevant.

I really like our clinic and everybody is so lovely, but I went to the appointment after a manic long stressful night shift and we were waiting for an hour between appointments due to a delay so it was lunchtime by the time we left and I was exhausted and a surprise weigh in just wasn't something that was going to happen, nor was my build (medium) getting noted on a sperm match form!

Before the appointment we went for breakfast at Carluccios, which was lovely and then we discovered a really great coffee shop with chesterman sofas and nice tasting coffee, somewhere that is going to become a regular I am sure. I love going to the clinic and a coffee date with my wife, though I hope we never have to face the day where the gods are not in our favour as we know that sometime we may have to face the downs that come with IVF sometimes.

I so want this to work first time

Eager Beaver

Yesterday we went into the clinic for a scan to check my wife's antra-follicle count which helps determine your ovarian reserve. We also had bloods taken to test AMH level. T was really scared prior to the scan and had convinced herself something would be wrong etc. Thankfully it all went well and her womb lining was thin, she had 24 follicles (16-30 is excellent) and the only downer was a 3cm fibroid that was tucked up in her upper uterine muscle which apparently will pose no problem due to it hiding out of the way. It was really cool getting to see T's uterus and ovaries and I just kept thinking that this is the room where our future child could be collected and where they could be put back in as cute bundles of cells and that one day when I look at a screen of my wife's uterus, I could be staring at our baby's heartbeat.

Afterwards we went for a walk in the park and for breakfast before T headed to work. It was really lovely and filled with positivity.

We now have to wait a week to get the blood results but we have everything crossed. Following that the next step would be big bloods to check for any genetic carrier problems and any infections.

Fingers crossed

My sister has penned the phrase 'Eager Beaver' to describe the journey.

The Three B's

This week has been an excellent week. Firstly we decided that we are going to start trying for a baby next year as soon as we have got married and perhaps start the necessary testing beforehand in April as we are planning to do egg sharing ivf, if T is accepted on to the program. If not, financially we will have to try IUI instead. T is definitely hopefully going to carry the first baby, as she is 3 years older. I am happy to wait my turn :) It is very exciting. Life is too short and I want as much time with our children as possible, as working in a hospice has really showed me how you never know what is round the corner and how family are the thing that matters most in this life and are the one thing that are with us until the end of time. Not how many bedrooms our house has. I shared a bedroom with either my sister and at times my brother and sister until I was 11 and I had the best childhood ever. We also lived in a caravan in my grandparents backyard until I was 7. We will be living in a lovely 2 bed by the time our baby is old enough to care anyway. For the first year until we leave London and try for baby number 2, he can bunk up in our room :D

We also have booked our honeymoon, which is awesome as we have spent weeks trying to figure out where to go and how much money to spend etc. Our ideas varied from an all inclusive 2 weeks in mexico to a caravan in Cornwall. We really want to keep costs down so we can afford the IVF! In the end we have opted for a middle ground and are hiring a villa on the coast in Sardinia and hiring a car to drive around the Island. It looks gorgeous. The beaches are white and the sea is crystal clear. It is costing us £950 for the villa, flights and hire car. Pretty reasonable really as it has a jacuzzi overlooking the sea and everything and it is also private so we will be able to relax better.

Going for a week also means we can fit in going to the fertility clinic and a couple of nights in Paris in to our 2 weeks annual leave. We are not taking more time off to allow for baby making days off. While we would love to get pregnant on our first go, we are being realistic and anticipating more of a journey.

The three b's have also thus commenced this week. BRIDAL. BEACH. BABY diet! We are on a definite health kick now so that we are in optimum shape to give ourselves the best chance. We have swapped cake for fruit and the sofa for long walks. We r also gonna start playing tennis and swimming :) I am pretty sure cake will worm itself in occasionally, but so long as we keep focused then I am sure we will get there. Damn BMI charts. We went on a lovely 4 mile round trip walk into Greenwich last night and rewarded ourselves with a starbucks when we got there :) It is well worth the walk for both the coffee and the amazing view of Canary Wharf

Lastly I am starting my new job on Monday. This is quite terrifying but also very exciting. Gone are my student days. I am so glad to be in the adult world now even if I lose my student discount :)

I AM GONNA BE A TOTAL BREAD WINNER

This is what I am looking at whenever I want chocolate (mmmm)

I can't wait x x x